Archive for February, 2012

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Practice Makes Perfect: Changing Your Communication Habits One Step At a Time

February 27th, 2012
We are what we do repeatedly,
Excellence, therefore, is not an act,
It is a habit.
– Aristotle
The concept of practice applies to any skill that you want to cultivate.
If you take up a new musical instrument, you will need to practice a while before you’re ready to give your first concert. In Aikido, the martial art I study and teach, we get on the mat many times each week to practice and perfect our technique.
Improving our communication habits also requires practice. The problem with holding difficult conversations is we often find ourselves in performance mode before we have the chance. It is important to learn the skills of effective communication and to take the time to practice them.
There are many excellent books, teachers, and workshops that will teach the skills, then help you to practice and improve. Seek them out. Make a commitment to read one book or attend a workshop every few months.
You can also learn from your successful conversations as well as the ones that don’t turn out as expected. By bringing awareness to what you did well and what you might have done differently, you gradually become more proficient. Here are some ways to bring that awareness to bear in the moment, and to continue to practice communicating more clearly and purposefully:
• Increase Awareness.
Notice whether your communication style is accomplishing your goals. If not, try something different.
• Acknowledge.
What is your positive hope for the communication? What is theirs? Recognize that you are both doing your best, and give yourself and your partner the benefit of the doubt.
• Keep it safe.
Maintain a calm, centered attitude, a respectful demeanor, and a positive purpose.
• Cultivate curiosity.
Develop an open, curious, and interested frame of mind. Regardless of what your conversation partner says, try to see their centered intent and respond appropriately.
• Practice, Practice, Practice.
Try new techniques and learn from them. If you tend toward a passive and accommodating style, try offering a different opinion on occasion. If the opposite is true and you are on the talkative side, stop yourself and listen more. Ask questions. Try being curious.
A tourist stopped a New Yorker on the street and asked: “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” The New Yorker replied: “Practice!” An old joke, but a good one. The point is that
change takes place gradually over time.
Try one adjustment today. Review the suggestions above, and pick one. Let me know what happens. Take time to enjoy your newfound power. And most of all – have fun!

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Breaking Your Fear of Cold Calling

February 24th, 2012
Breaking Your Fear of Cold Calling PhotoAlmost every day, visitors to my Unlock The Game™ website click on my live instant-messenger chat button, which invites them to “Ask Ari a selling question.”
The fear of cold calling is a painful, daily struggle for many entrepreneurs and salespeople who have been trained in traditional selling techniques.

Traditional sales trainers answer questions about cold calling this way:

“All you have to do is make more phone calls.”
“All you have to do is think more positive thoughts.”
“Just learn to accept rejection as a normal part of selling.”

In other words, “It’s your fault that you aren’t succeeding in sales.”

1. It’s Not Your Fault

We can’t help thinking there’s something wrong with us if other people keep telling us that something shouldn’t be a problem, but our own inner feelings tell us that we aren’t comfortable doing it.
There’s a sort of “old boys’ club” sales-conditioning mentality prevalent in English-speaking countries, including the US, Canada, the UK, Australia, and New Zealand, that says, “I had to suffer to succeed in sales success, so you need to, too!”
This thinking comes from traditional sales programs that continue to be the accepted approach to selling.

What you need to understand, though, is that you may fear cold calling because you have probably been exposed only to traditional selling approaches, which triggers rejection. These approaches teach us to make cold calls this way: introduce yourself, explain what you do, suggest a benefit to the potential client…and then close your eyes and pray that they won’t reply with “Sorry, not interested” or “Sorry, I’m busy.” If you’re still using this traditional approach, you probably hear responses like these the moment you stop talking.

They’re rejections, and what they do us make you feel rejected — and that’s reason enough to make you dislike, fear, and avoid cold calling.
How can cold calling be a positive experience if rejection is the most common response you get?</p>

2. Are Your Self-Perceptions Passive or Aggressive?

Whenever I chat with people about the fear of cold calling, they almost< always tell me that they’re afraid to make cold calls because they don’t want to be perceived as “aggressive.”
This is another part of the internal battle — they beat themselves up for being too passive and lacking the confidence to make the next call, but they don’t want to call for fear of being seen as aggressive.
Here’s the good news: there is a middle ground between “aggressive” and passive.”
It’s a place where you can be who you are while still being extremely effective with cold calling, without ever experiencing rejection again.

3. Learn to Let Your Language Match Your Thinking

If you can center yourself into a place where you can let go of feeling that you have to go on using traditional cold calling “scripts” and behaviors, you’ll find yourself spontaneously using language that you would use in a natural conversation.
Using natural words and phrases — speaking exactly the way you would with someone
you know, can transform cold calling into a refreshing and productive experience.
And, as you let go of the old-school cold calling model, in which your product or service is your only way of generating a phone conversation with a prospect, you’ll make the most crucial transition of all: you’ll begin thinking of approaching potential prospects not from your perspective, but from theirs.

What do I mean by that?

Imagine what it would be like if you could hear your prospect’s thoughts about the problems they are having — and that your solution can solve.
Even more importantly, suppose you could also make note of the words and phrases they’re using as they think about their problems, and that you could take that language and embed it in your cold calling approach.
“Yes, but how would I do that?” you might ask.
It’s simple. Just ask your current clients what three core problems your product or service has solved for them.
When you change your thinking, you can’t help changing the language that you use, which lets you connect in a whole new positive way with the other person you are calling.
If you can let go of your old-school belief system and open up to the possibility that there is a more natural, comfortable way to cold call — one that doesn’t trigger rejection — you’ll be surprised by how easily you’ll break through and overcome your fear of cold calling.

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Posted in Business, Management